Are You Or Your Spouse Considering Divorce?
Couples On The Brink Of Divorce Don’t Need Marriage Counseling
If you or your spouse is considering divorce, you’re in a tough spot.
Chances are either you or your spouse feels too little hope or energy to start traditional marriage counseling.
In fact, marriage counseling might make things worse- a fact many couples have experienced firsthand.
Discernment Counseling is specially designed for couples where one spouse is leaning toward divorce and the other wants to preserve the marriage.
What Makes Marriage Counseling Dangerous?
Traditional marriage counseling assumes that both partners are ready and willing to put in the effort to fix the issues in the marriage.
For couples on the brink of divorce, this usually isn’t the case.
When one partner is leaning out of the marriage, they are less likely to see the value in committing to resolving the issues in the marriage.
They may feel that, at this point, it’s hopeless.
Dragging this person into marriage counseling is asking for a half-hearted attempt at resolving issues that both partners have contributed to creating.
After months of still having the same fights over and over again, the leaning out partner may become even more convinced that divorce is the only way out.
What Makes Discernment Counseling Different?
Discernment Counseling isn’t about fixing the problems in your marriage.
It’s about identifying the problems then deciding if each partner believes they can be fixed.
The goal of discernment counseling is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future.
Sessions involve separate conversations with each partner as well as time as a couple to share what each has learned.
Discernment Counseling is brief- usually 1-5 sessions.
It typically ends with a decision to proceed toward divorce or make a major last effort to save the marriage, with a clear agenda for change.
Who Is Discernment Counseling For?
Discernment Counseling is for couples where one partner is considering divorce but hasn’t fully decided yet.
It’s for couples who want to take one last look at their relationship before making a permanent decision.
Discernment Counseling is for those who want to give their marriage one last chance even if their spouse is moving toward divorce.
Are There Couples Not Suited For Discernment Counseling?
Discernment Counseling is not for couples where there is domestic violence.
It is also not meant for couples where one partner is coerced to participate.
If one partner is certain of their decision to divorce, discernment counseling is not indicated. It’s not a place to “break the news” to your partner.